"Why are you here?" she asked.
"Because I'm lonely," he answered.
And she knew that forever he would be the boy and she would be the tree.
--
Recently, it was asked of me (and many others, apparently) what I want to be know for: Would I rather be known for what I earned or what I sacrificed?
Although I am not convinced that this is an either/or question for me, I do believe the struggle to earn and the pain of sacrificing are not all that different. Yes, the feelings and details around each may not appear similar, but each deals in value. Are you working to gain value? Or are you giving something of value up in exchange for something more worthy?
Earning is hard work to see more immediate results.
Sacrificing is a longer, more confusing game.
I don't think I would care to be know for either what I earned or what I sacrificed. That seems too limiting.
I want to be known for a different kind of value. Not one I chased and caught. And not a value that came at the price of exchange.
I want to be known for what I build and grow and create. I want to be known for what I feel and how I act. I want to be known for what I give. I want to be known for being softer and kinder than was deserved or expected. I want to be known for being harder and faster at just the right moment. I want to be known for creating seconds of delight that are remembered for a lifetime. I want to be known for how I nurture that which has been both earned and sacrificed by others. I want to be known for holding so close and so gently what is in another's bones, even if I haven't quite figured out what is in mine.
I want to be known for being a person that is just really good at being human.
Despite the mess and tears and grind of earning, and despite the pain and turmoil and gripping uncertainty of sacrifice, what lives deep in the core of me is how I hope to be known.
So maybe this is the bigger question for me:
What will I have to earn, and what will I have to sacrifice, to be truly known?